EIFA Tri Nations GF Rematch Produces a Winner!

Adelwin, Aerlig - The Superdome was again packed to the rafters today with people queuing in the streets for days to get their hands on tickets for the Grand Final Rematch of the EIFA Tri-nations Tourney. With the current world champions of German Soccer and the runners-up in the English World Cup doing battle, an estimated 67,000 people made their way to the dome to watch the match.

They weren't to be disappointed either. The match got off to a blazing start, with a Babkhan goal in the first five minutes sending the crowd wild. When the Atterans quickly replied, a deafening roar echoed through the stadium. A scuffle broke out between a number of Babkha and Atteran nationals in the Eastern Stand after Babkha put away two more goals to take the lead 3-1, but with those fans removed the crowd went back to focusing on the game to notice that the Atterans had shot away to 3-4. The teams went back and forward scoring before the end of the first half, levelling the scores at 8 all.

The Babkha defence in the second half proved too much for the Atterans however, who only managed to score 2 goals in response to Babkha's 4.

With Babkha's win in this Tourney they have risen to 11th in the World Rankings, just below Navland and Cranda. Additional points to Attera sent it above New Macadam, while Aerlig was bumped up one place above Karnali to second.

EIFA is certainly heating up, with more action soon to come including the Champions Cup and the October Karnalian Tournament, all before the World Cup in three months time!

FINAL SCORE: Babkha 12 defeated Attera 10
CROWD: 67,028 @ MZM Superdome, Adelwin

The Olympic Report

Last Friday (September 17th), the Micronational Olympics 2004, an event co-organized by Shireroth and Mahina, were closed by the posting of Scott Siskind's final speech. This was a bit of surprise, since some people knew that an Olympic event was under discussion and only a select few knew where and when it was held, or even that it was held in the first place.

In his speech, Scott spoke about the unifying power of sports in general and the Olympics in particular. The event had brought some nations (that we otherwise might never have heard about, such as Natopia and Mahina) closer to the micronational community, even if the major part of this community was absent from the Olympics.

The primary goal of the Olympics is not politics, though, but sport. The original plans contained both physical sports and mind sports - the first everyone could hold in their own backyards (if it they were large enough for a 3,000m parcours), the mind games such as Reversi and Chess were to be held online. Since there are no results shown for these, it is doubtful these events ever took place. The physical sports (frisbee throwing, tennisball throwing, 3000m running and 100m running) did take place, and according to the true Olympic spirit no-one cheated on the times or misjudged the distances. The non-running events were a clear victory for the Natopians, who also had the largest number of participants. Further details of the results can be found in the preceding article.

The lack of publicity surrounding this event is a pity, even more so since it was good opportunity for micronationalists to get some physical exercise instead of sitting in front of a computer all day. Apparently one journal was intended to be the official news publisher for the Games, but in the end this never materialised, while the Olympic Committee forum in Shireroth gave the impression that the Games just fizzled out. Let us hope, though, that this event will continue in the future, because it is an excellent initiative.

Natopia Sweeps the Boards at the Olympics

Following a marathon effort by our correspondents, we are pleased to report on the results of the 2004 Intermicronational Olympic Games. The Games were held jointly by Mahina and Shireroth (from August 13th to 29th), with Mahina doing the website, Shireroth the forum, and everyone else the games. Unfortunately everyone was waiting for someone else to do the publicity, mostly because there was supposed to be an official olympic newspaper, but for some reason (or several), this failed to materialize, but everyone was to polite or busy with other stuff to mention this or do something about it, which is why we're the first ones to actually write anything about what happened.

There were five "offline" (physical) events at the Games this year, namely Discus (with Frisbee), Shot Put (with Tennis Ball), the 100 Metre Run, the 3,000 Metre Run, and the Long Jump. There were also five "online" (mind) events: Yahoo Reversi, Yahoo Checkers, Yahoo Chess, Monopoly and Risk. However, we assume that most of these did not take place, as the official results have only been published for four of the "offline" events, and we can't tell you when, exactly, these events took place, as no dates and times for them have been published.

But all this should not detract from the fact the micronational world's best atheletes did take part in physical events, and did very well in them, although of course some did better than others. The official results are as follows:

Discus (with Frizbee)
Her Honor Sherry Lochhaas (Natopia) - 84 feet (Gold)
His Supremacy Aaron Pavletich (Natopia) - 75 feet (Silver)
His Sovereign Excellency Nathan Shepard (Natopia) - 56 feet (Bronze)
His Excellency President Kevin Baugh (Molossia) - 52 feet
His Royal Majesty Bryan (Mahina) - 51 feet
His Honor Craig Billmeyer (Natopia) - 33 feet

Shot Put (with Tennis Ball)
His Supremacy Aaron Pavletich (Natopia) - 123 feet (Gold)
His Honor Craig Billmeyer (Natopia) - 98 feet (Silver)
Her Honor Sherry Lochhaas (Natopia) - 83 feet (Bronze)
His Sovereign Excellency Nathan Shepard (Natopia) - 82 feet
His Royal Majesty Bryan (Mahina) - 71 feet, 6 inches
His Royal Majesty Samuel (Navland) - 70 feet, 2 inches
His Excellency President Kevin Baugh (Molossia) - 56 feet

100m Run
Brandon Baker (Navland) - 13.79 seconds (Gold)
His Royal Majesty Samuel (Navland) - 15.11 seconds (Silver)
His Royal Majesty Bryan (Mahina) - 21.23 seconds (Bronze)

3000m Run
President Radu Chinan (Gabilonia) - 16 min 18 sec (Gold)
His Royal Majesty Bryan (Mahina) - 20 min 14 sec (Silver)

The final medal tally was as follows:
Natopia - 6 (2 Gold, 2 Silver, 2 Bronze)
Navland - 2 (1 Gold, 1 Silver)
Mahina - 2 (1 Silver, 1 Bronze)
Gabilonia - 1 (1 Gold)

The End of Menelmacar

After a good month of compelete inactivity, Ric Lyon has declared the end of OAM, and with it the official end of the Menelmacar era. This end was long anticipated, because before the last month of inactivity, the country had already been withering away for about a year and was only being kept alive by idle chatting between Mari Greenwood and Kathyrn.

In his final speech, Ric Lyon, probably the only person who had citizenship in all incarnations of the micronation, referred to the hopeful start of the new nation in the summer of 2002 and to its long and slow downfall during the following year. His speech was written in Tolkienian style, in accordance with the theme of the micronation. Finally he addressed the new inhabitants of the land that Menelmacar once occupied on the MCS map: "My last hopes remain in the new rulers of Fëanoria, that they will toil the barren land, and make her once more bloom in all splendour. Blessings I give to the friends in the Red Antilles of the Fëanorian Isles." Ironically he ended the speech in the OAM forum with "peace and somemen", a phrase contributed to Archetype23, former arch-enemy of this part of Menelmacar.

It is not certain that Ric Lyon had the authority to declare the end of Menelmacar, as he officially resigned his citizenship on the 25th of February this year. However, it is unlikely that anybody cares enough to contest his declaration.

League Spreads Out Across the Field

On the second EMSL matchday, the world's premier teams started to pull away form the rest, with the Trishuli Extremes showing great promise by scoring a massive nine goals against their opponents, the Halberd Harriers. The only other match played saw the Dynamo beat Wizards SC Westmore by five goals to four.

Four teams once again failed to turn up, although rumours of invasions or revolutions just to get them to play have been dismissed as idle fantasies.

The official results are as follows:

Halberd Harriers - 0, Trishuli Xtremes - 9
DRAs Capitalist Shmazerz - 3, Redstar Bandera - 0
Vayelon Firewolves - 3, Gotzborg Eagles - 0
The Dynamo - 5, Wizards SC Westmore - 4
Mayo Sportistinda - 3, Baden Tigers - 0
FC Attera Imperial - 0, Adelwin Power - 3

The better teams are now starting to break away from the others - there are now four top teams, four middle teams and four bottom teams in the league, with the updated table looking thus:

1. Trishuli Xtremes - 6 points
2. DRAs Capitalist Shmazerz - 6 points
3. Mayo Sportistinda - 6 points
4. The Dynamo - 6 points
5. Wizards SC Westmore - 3 points
6. Vayelon Firewolves - 3 points
7. Adelwin Power - 3 points
8. Halberd Harriers - 3 points
9. Baden Tigers - 0 points
10. Gotzborg Eagles - 0 points
11. Redstar Bandera - 0 points
12. FC Attera Imperial - 0 points

The next matchday is Friday 24th September.

IFNA to Launch News Accreditation Scheme

MICRONATIONAL EYE, MICRAS - Micronational news editors are expected to be kept on their toes following the announcement of a news accreditation scheme by the Intermicronational Federation of News Agencies.

The proposed scheme, passed with the support of IFNA members, will certify publications that achieve a minimum standard of content, editing, grammar, punctuation and spelling. Publications will be monitored at regular periods and a special public accreditation noticeboard will be established to inform publications of corrections that need to be made in order for them to achieve full accreditation.

The scheme is expected to be launched by the end of the month.

Sovereign Order Finally Chooses Its Chairman

HALBERD LIGHTHOUSE, S.O. TREESIA - Following what may be one of the most protracted votes ever in micronational history (with nominations having started back in May), Eoin Dornan has been overwhelmingly elected as the first Chairman of the Sovereign Order of Treesia.

Dornan founded and led the original Barony of Treesia and Fabon in October 2000, when the world looked very different, and is currently Prime Minister of Attera. He was elected from a list of three candidates, which included former cleric J John Herueus and Grand Chancellor Sir Iain de Vembria.

Chairman Dornan was unavailable for comment at time of press, but he is expected to fulfil his duties with as much dedication as he gave to Treesia as Ard-Baron, and without unduly impinging on all the other things he gets up to, which you can read all about in his no-holds-barred Livejournal.

No-show Teams Fail to Spoil First Games

ERSENIL, AERLIG - The EMSL achieved a record attendance on Friday when two thirds of its member teams turned up for the first game of the new soccer season. As a result two proper matches were played and only four games were won on forfeits. Six of the teams that did turn up now share the lead of the league table with three points each, while the others are languishing at the bottom with none.

Last season's lyrical commentator Baruch O'Shaughnessy also failed to make an appearance, thus sharing the embarrassment of a no-show with the Baden Tigers, FC Attera Imperial, the Gotzborg Eagles and Redstar Bandera. EMSL Head Honcho Jouker Sendler reminded the teams that plays can be submitted for all the matches in advance, so the team managers have no excuses for failing to show up with their teams in time for each match.

This season's league has features 22 match days, plays every Friday and ends in the New Year. The results for the first match are as follows:

Trishuli Xtremes - 3, Adelwin Power - 1
Mayo Sportistinda - 3, FC Attera Imperial - 0
Baden Tigers - 0, The Dynamo - 3
Wizards SC Westmore - 5, Vayelon Firewolves - 3
Gotzborg Eagles - 0, DRAs Capitalist Shmazerz - 3
Redstar Bandera - 0, Halberd Harriers - 3

The league table stands thus:

1. Halberd Harriers - 3 points
2. DRAs Capitalist Shmazerz - 3 points
3. The Dynamo - 3 points
4. Mayo Sportistinda - 3 points
5. Wizards SC Westmore - 3 points
6. Trishuli Xtremes - 3 points
7. Vayelon Firewolves - 0 points
8. Adelwin Power - 0 points
9. Baden Tigers - 0 points
10. Gotzborg Eagles - 0 points
11. Redstar Bandera - 0 points
12. FC Attera Imperial - 0 points

The next matches take place on Friday 17th September.

Formula Z Finishes With a Flourish

COURLAND BARRACKS, GOTZBORG - Motorsports fans were awed when members of the Gotzborg Royal Family attended the final Formula Z race last Sunday (5th), and then presented the end-of-season prizes afterwards. King August Charles II raided the family silver to hand over some glittering trophies to the first Formula Z World Champion Driver, Trevon Andarosel, as well as series co-organiser and race winner Iain de Vembria, and the World Champion Team, Knightrider Racing.

In his acceptance speech, Andarosel broke down in tears as he thanked "my team, the organisation committee of Formula Z and the MML, the nations who hosted the tracks,... my pet sandworm, my parents and other family, the university for wasting their bandwidth, the guys who developed HTML, PHP and MySQL, Brattain and Bardeen for building the first transistor, James Maxwell for developing the electromagnetic theory, and, finally, Extreme007 for not discovering how to win races before halfway through the season."

Formula Z is a motorracing simulation that was launched in the wake of the growing success of other micronational sports, particularly association football, and has achieved a remarkably consistently high level of participation for each race. Charles II said of it: "Formula Z is an enjoyable respite from stuffy government offices, heated debates, and diplomatic activities. It is an engagement in which people from all over micronations come together to challenge others, themselves and participate in something that is fun."

Races were held in seven micronations in this year: Attera, Aerlig, Babkha, Prya, Istvanistan, S.O. Treesia and Gotzborg.