Shireroth Not At All Embarrassed by Failed Benacian Conference

BENACIA - It seemed such a good idea at the time. All the important flunkeys, politicians and heads of state on Benacia were invited to an all-expenses-paid week away in a secret Benacian hideaway to discuss standardization and "matters of common purpose", set up as an apparent distraction from the ongoing controversies surrounding the marriage of Kaiser Ayreon II of Shireroth.

Only two people turned up. And one of those was chairing the conference. That was Kaiser Ayreon II of Shireroth. The other attendee being the slightly embarrassed King of Batavia, Willem V.

As for the "matters of common purpose"? The history, the geography, the languages and the peoples of the Benacian continent. Not being ones to shy away from embarrassing failures at times, here's our take on how the conference should have gone.

History: It happened to every nation and the ones that survived are still here.

Geography: Most nations have it, from tiny islands to a few mountains, with some rivers and oceans just to give all the water somewhere to go.

Languages: Everyone speaks English, so that's alright then. Not everyone can spell it, though, which isn't.

People: "Everyone's a citizen!" Just not of every nation. 

And in other news...

After rapidly losing interest in the conference, Kaiser Ayreon II decided to abuse his newly-appointed position of Honorary Senator in the Union State by denouncing another version of himself over his previous pretend "death" as another another version of himself, thus instantly contributing to the already highly controversial use of micronational papels.

As One Dragon Safely Returns, Will Another Arise?

BATAVIA - A tender for interplanetary transport has been issued by the Kingdom of Batavia as the real world's first commercial space mission was nearing its end (and has since successfully returned to Earth). While SpaceX's Dragon spacecraft safely splashed down in the Pacific Ocean yesterday, thus demonstrating the potential of relatively affordable private space travel (at least compared to state space travel), some of the micronational world's foremost experts on virtual interplanetary travel were brainstorming potential solutions to a tender that is happily unencumbered by any constraints as to the limits of technology and the availability of funding created out of thin air (let alone the vacuum of space).

The Natopians have led the sessions having had previous relevant experience, and suggestions so far include using modular Imperial Class carrier ships, possibly assisted by orbital shuttles and space elevators. It may be worth noting that Natopia itself is currently a protectorate of the Union of Elwynn, Amokolia and Hurmu, which in turn includes the territory of Tirlar, the last remaining remnant of the sites of the gateways to the other four legendary elemental worlds of Tylmarinn, Eochar, Relgann and Meiridos.

We would suggest embarking on unquantifiable expeditions to rediscover these long-unvisited planets, which would not only be interplanetary expeditions, but interdimensional expeditions, as all five of our worlds occupy different nodes of reality in the same space. No spaceships required, but there might still be dragons...