Hyperborean Ice-Demon Freezes Ireland

HYPERBOREA, SHIREROTH - It seems that, when you are researching micronational myths and legends, it may not be best to speak aloud the name of any sensitive deities or demons, just in case they see it as open invitation to wreak havoc shortly afterwards.

This unfortunate sequence of events occurred last week, apparently as a consequence of a meeting between two Hyperboreans, Scott of Hyperborea and Eoin Dornan, which took place somewhere is deepest, darkest Ireland.

It has been admitted that, during the meeting, the name of Jogri Temyyyutsion, King of the Ice-Demons, was forgetfully spoken aloud in place of his safer winter pseudonym "Oin Suilar", which was effectively an invitation for him to expand his "icy reign" across the seas to all of Ireland.

Banishment of the Ice-Demon may prove to be troublesome, as the only potential rituals are to be found in the legendary "Cold Rain Book", which itself has proven to be entirely imaginary.

In the meantime, climate experts have warned that the anticipated duration of the supernatural freeze of "three times three times three days" may prove to be rather optimistic.

Hyperborea to Secede from Shireroth?

SHIREKEEP, SHIREROTH - In an unexpected turn of events, a three-way battle has broken out in Shireroth's Imperial Judex over the future of the County of Hyperborea. Hyperborea was annexed to Shireroth in May 2002, but earlier today, it was revealed that it was suddenly no longer a subdivision of Shireroth (along with Yardistan) by Scott of Hyperborea, in his response to a case brought by Steward Malliki Tosha against an allegedly illegal alliance between Hyperborea and Yardistan.

Steward Tosha was subsequently obliged to drop that case after he then submitted a new case against Scott of Hyperborea for treason as secession is illegal. The latter then responded with a counter-case against the Steward for an allegedly illegal alliance between Tosha's own Duchy of Brookshire and Harvey Steffke's newly recreated Duchy of Goldshire.

Although a number of historical records from the first half of 2002 no longer exist, the Hyperborean Incorporation Act is still intact. Unfortunately, following the fashion of that time, it consisted of a single unqualified line:

The former Tymarian state of Hyperborea will be incorporated into the Duchy of Elwynn.

Arbiter Leo Dine, Duke of Elwynn, called the situation an "ordeal" and decided to adjourn both cases until tomorrow in order that a single, unified, case can be prepared.

Deconstructing RIMA's 2008: The Inconvenient Truth

In which we analyze RIMA's analysis of 2008 and find it to be somewhat economical with the truth.

The Evolution of News

2008 was indeed a year of change, but the changes were not quite as profound as the RIMA article imagines. Of the dubbed "old guard" of micronational journalists of Scott Alexander and Liam Sinclair, who were out of the "picture" by 2008, it was Scott Alexander who had mostly retired from journalism in June 2003, before making an all too brief return in 2006. Liam Sinclair had at least three blogs, but curiously, despite his claims of them being "often the main source of news for the community", those that our investigative journalists have found and been able to attribute to him have all been unaccountably deleted.

In the meantime, the acclaimed "new guard" of 2008, while heralding the welcome mainstream return of group blogging, was not much more than the latest evolution of the micronational blogosphere which had been popularised by Jack Santucci's Microblog group since May 2004 and capitalized on with the launch of the MNN news aggregator shortly afterwards, which led to an immediate proliferation of individual blogs which has continued, with a few notable interruptions, to this day. To imply otherwise, as the RIMA article has apparently done, is at the very least disingenuous.

The Handover That Wasn't

With regards to the other notable change of 2008, the article has completed ignored the fact the Micronations.net hub, which was removed in a very rapid and underhand fashion, actually returned in albeit a somewhat reduced form about a week later, an event that was not exactly unreported.

While the article rightly praises the "younger generation" for taking up the challenge of immediately providing a replacement hub (i.e. a forum), it glosses over the fact that the "handover" was actually a rather desperate rescue effort, as a direct result of the majority of the MNN management refusing to consider handing over MNN as going concern to the very generation now being praised.

A genuine handover would not only have allowed the services provided by MNN to have continued without unnecessary interruption and inconvenience, but would also have meant the management majority could have retired on a high, rather than fleeing from a community that was understandably full of instant animosity and ill-will.

By completely failing to see the bigger picture, the older generation only showed the younger generation how not to do it, but these days that seems to be a globally recurring theme, doesn't it?

FNORDs 1, Norton Awards 0

It's Emperor Norton Day once again, and, as usual on Emperor Norton Day, there are one or two commemorative award ceremonies to look forward to.

There should ideally, be two, but the original Norton Awards seem to have sadly run out of steam, despite a poll showing overwhelming public demand for them.

Happily, the alternative FNORD Awards, back this year in the capable hands of its erstwhile founder Scott Alexander, has triumphed yet again with a wide variety of worthy winners carefully chosen by judging panel comprising such well-known and respected names as Ryan Caruso, Liam Sinclair, Chris Mules, Ari Rahikkala, and Ardashir Khan.

As is traditional, the award winners are listed as follows:

• Tony Au Award for Economics: Andreas Mayer
• Liam Sinclair Award for Micronational History: Jonas Windsor
• Jeremy Bellamy Award for Recwar and Storytelling: Antony Montague
• Liam con Toketi Award for Best New Micronationalist: Peter Ulsnes
• Best Original Idea: Dr Spangle
• Bill Dusch Award For Cultural Development: Troy Thompson
• Best Graphic Artwork: Scott Alexander
• Iain Jacobson Award for Micronational Journalism: Will Tomsett
• Shane Odlum Award for Overall Achievement: Hesam Jayatar

Our congratulations to all.

The FNORD and Norton Awards Return!

Rejoice, for the season of micronational awards in honour of Emperor Norton is upon us once again!

The FNORD Awards are being co-ordinated by their founder, Scott Alexander of the Institute of Micropatriology. Nominations are currently being accepted for the following categories:

Economics, Best New Micronationalist, Overall Achievement, Micronational History, Journalism, Cultural Development, Recwar and Storytelling, Best New Micronation, Best Original Idea, Best Signature/Avatar, Best Graphic Artwork.

Meanwhile, the Norton Awards are being co-ordinated by their founder, HM Kevin Baugh of Molossia, with nominations being accepted for:

Intermicronational Achievement, Political Achievement, Cultural Achievement, New Micronation of the Year, Personal Achievement

We recommend placing your nominations while you can.

Viva La Vida!

A familiar name returns today in the form of a revived-yet-new Apollo Fireball V, being the fifth incarnation of various micronational journals bearing an Apollo Something name, all trying to continue in the spirit of the original Apollo Fireball created by everyone's favourite micronationalist, currently known as Scott Alexander (and himself a man of many names), back in the times of micronational antiquity in the days of the legendary Republics of Blackrock and Treesia.

Those of you with an urge of nostalgia can read the very first issue here. The rest of you are invited to keep on reading here, not that we intend to guarantee any specific regularity of coverage, hence our disclamatory new slogan.

So there you have it. Viva la Vida, and Viva la Fireball.

And not a paper butterfly in sight.

Opinion: Beware Bergen's Revisionists of History

In which His Majesty Osman Shahanshah of the Kingdom of Babkha deplores recent attempts to rewrite the past and fondly reminisces about a golden age of micronationalism.

The President of that entity which refers to itself as the Federal Republic of Cyberia, but which we all know to be the latest manifestation of Jacobus' near decade-long smear-campaign against the legitimate Virtual Commonwealth of Cyberia, did voice, at the Bergen Conference, an aside concerning the complex diplomatic situation that occurred in Morovia during the winter of 2001-2002:

"Does anyone remember the machinations carried out at the expense of Morovia? The infant Republic would not have had to kow-tow to Babkha for protection against the giant that was Tymaria, or accept the restoration of a monarchy they did not want."

In doing so, he did repeat a version of history as the Digas and Scott Alexanders of this world would have it, that either the Babkhans (as ever it seems) were entirely to blame or else both sides were as bad as the other. This is blatant poppycock.

When news of the demise of King Vincent's Kingdom reached the halls of Babak the Great it was my honour to be sent to make a reconnaissance of the failed state. The great tragedy of the Morovian forums in the absence of any meaningful central authority was that it was so badly structured and insecure that anyone could pretend to be anyone (as indeed we saw with the Tyrant Diga's lamentable attempt to pass himself off as 'King Vincent IV'.

Now, in the milieu by which we were confronted, many forces were clearly at work, including various scavengers of legitimacy not entirely unfamiliar to President Jacobus himself. Then of course there were the Tymarians who were looking there because we were there and there were some scuffles provoked on their part by the militarist Atteran desire to spark a wider war between the Kingdom of Babkha and Tymaria. The Atterans were at that time effectively the military wing of Tymaria, accounting for little aside from bellicosity. It was all in all a most wretched scene.

However, from amongst all the ruined edifices of Morovia there was at least found one gleaming gem, and that gem was not the Republic of Morovia, but rather Bob Kee, a Malaysian political activist of character and distinction, and of rare organisational ability. It was he alone who held the head of the 'infant Republic' above water. It was he alone who gave it grace and dignity, and it was his common sense and competence that above all else recommended him to us as the one coherent voice amongst the cacophony there.

Indeed there again, such was his good judgement and plain common sense that he and Shah Babak had an immediate meeting of minds. From thereon, a fruitful policy of engagement was born, marred only by the ham-fisted efforts of Tymarian Military Intelligence to infiltrate the Republic. The Republic, however, was illegitimate and it was Bob Kee's insistence rather than our own that led to that country returning to the honourable institution of monarchy.

Regrettably the true King Vincent was not to be found and Diga's manifestation as 'King Vincent IV' was contemptable. At a loss then, Mr Kee arranged to have the President crown as King in the interim, however long that should be. As such, Morovia rose in the estimation of all nations, save for Tymaria and those other petulant spirits who had been cheated of their mischief by the end to the chaos.

In the end, of course, it was all to end happily. Diga's antics in Morovia had come to the attention of the true King Vincent, apparently the third of that name, and happy was the occasion of his restoration.

In the end both Kingdoms benefitted and no true Morovian ever lost out from the restoration. Indeed Bob Kee also went on to become Abbas Namvari of Babkha, and in that capacity was to usher in almost single-handedly one of the most glorious chapters in that nation's history - the faint echo of which we still hear today in the Abbas Namvari-Charles Beard FNORD award.

- His Majesty Osman Shahanshah

The Olympic Report

Last Friday (September 17th), the Micronational Olympics 2004, an event co-organized by Shireroth and Mahina, were closed by the posting of Scott Siskind's final speech. This was a bit of surprise, since some people knew that an Olympic event was under discussion and only a select few knew where and when it was held, or even that it was held in the first place.

In his speech, Scott spoke about the unifying power of sports in general and the Olympics in particular. The event had brought some nations (that we otherwise might never have heard about, such as Natopia and Mahina) closer to the micronational community, even if the major part of this community was absent from the Olympics.

The primary goal of the Olympics is not politics, though, but sport. The original plans contained both physical sports and mind sports - the first everyone could hold in their own backyards (if it they were large enough for a 3,000m parcours), the mind games such as Reversi and Chess were to be held online. Since there are no results shown for these, it is doubtful these events ever took place. The physical sports (frisbee throwing, tennisball throwing, 3000m running and 100m running) did take place, and according to the true Olympic spirit no-one cheated on the times or misjudged the distances. The non-running events were a clear victory for the Natopians, who also had the largest number of participants. Further details of the results can be found in the preceding article.

The lack of publicity surrounding this event is a pity, even more so since it was good opportunity for micronationalists to get some physical exercise instead of sitting in front of a computer all day. Apparently one journal was intended to be the official news publisher for the Games, but in the end this never materialised, while the Olympic Committee forum in Shireroth gave the impression that the Games just fizzled out. Let us hope, though, that this event will continue in the future, because it is an excellent initiative.