And Now We Are Two

In which the Grand Commonwealth celebrates its second birthday, and is revealed to be a noble hippopotamus.

Yesterday (Saturday 28th) saw the erstwhile Grand Commonwealth celebrated the first two years of its fabled existence, thus confounding the beliefs of a well-known minority who have long professed that it was dead, and consequently are now rather disappointed and seeking counselling for the withdrawal of their much-cherished belief-system.

The anniversary event consisted of a well-attended but low-key ceremony, during which His Majesty Tahmaseb Abakhtari, the Shahan-Ri, delivered the following rallying speech:

"One could begin to babble endlessly how great and mighty we all are, but we all know that. Instead I plan to talk about something completely different: hippos.

"The noble hippopotamus is a remarkable beast. It is mostly docile and likes to stay in the water in groups. It is a vegetarian but its teeth are very suitable for combat. When two hippopotami fight death is an option. Hippos are buoyant when young but not anymore when they grow up which means adults can't swim. They can stay submerged about five minutes while walking on the bottom of the river/lake.

"We are much like the hippos. We have grown up and are not buoyant anymore. To keep breathing we must be active and not just dose off while floating. We might be nice but can be dangerous if cornered. Hippos are docile but then again they are an endangered species. Perhaps we shouldn't be like the hippos?

"Therefore I invite everyone to think what kind of an animal we should be. This is a task that might seem ridiculous and childish at first but I ask you to think about it. This is about change which is essential in every community. Stagnation leads to death. Therefore it is your duty to commit yourselves to progress.

"This has been a great two-year fable so far. Let's make it even better!"

The New Novaya Zemlya: Home to Soviet History, Vodka, and Radiation Therapy

The Soviet Republic of Novaya Zemlya has started its umpteenth lease of life following the unexpected return of Dominika Tchesnova, widow of the late Vladimir Alexei.

Dominika Tchesnova, who just been appointed as the latest Premier, has promised to revive Novaya Zemlya in "some manner of archival state", and already added to the growing collection of historical documents several items including an extended history, promotional banners, artwork and the state coat of arms. It has been hinted that the famous vodka distillery may be re-opened in the near future, and that a special spa may be opened to harness the high levels of radiation for therapeutic uses.

Novaya Zemlya, which has been protected by the Grand Commonwealth since August 2005, started life in October 2004 as a top secret testing site for the USSR micronation founded by Yuri V Andropov. Within a month it had been transformed into an internationally popular cultural enclave, and was granted a new status of a Soviet Socialist Republic in November of that year. By the end of 2004 the parent USSR had been dissolved following the climax of an escalating series of political crises and scandals, so the surviving Novaya Zemlya was declared its successor.

Following a golden age in early 2005, its very existence was threatened firstly by the infamous EzApocalypse which destroyed much of its forum, and secondly a conversion from socialism to communism that encouraged the emigration of most of its population and brought about months of inactivity, which led to its being protected by the Grand Commonwealth. Several months later most of the founders had returned and attempted a revival, but the untimely death of Vladimir Alexei resulted in a period of mourning that turned into another mass exodus.

The final nail in the coffin was the mysterious deletion of its boards in July 2006, although a surprising number of records were recovered and stored in a new board provided by the Grand Commonwealth, where the new Novaya Zemlya remains based.

Oscland Joins The Grand Commonwealth

The Confederate Kingdoms of Oscland became the eighth and newest micronation to join the Grand Commonwealth since the latter's inception two years ago, when it was ceremoniously welcomed in on Monday.

Sir Marc Evans, Oscland's Chancellor of Valuta, is now the Chancellor of the Exchequer, while King Oscar Direzione II is the new Chancellor of State.

Sir Marc, in expressing his thanks to the Grand Commonwealth for admitting Oscland, said: "Oscland is changing and we want to make it better than ever and there could not be a better time to join the Grand Commonwealth as we continue to look for ways to contribute to the micronational community."