Elwynn, Land of Princely Elections and a People's Academy

ELIRIA, ELWYNN - Once upon a time, a long long time ago, Princes were born of nobility and generally ended up as Kings, or came to a tragic end. However, in the twenty-first century, Princes are not only not noble, but elected! Sometimes public opinion can be divided over whether such a contemporary development is a Good Thing or not. All we know is that in the Union of Elwynn, Amokolia and Hurmu, it's constitutional, and right now, nominations are being received, and occasionally withdrawn. 

We can tell you that the current candidates are the very keen Elijah Ayreon, recently abdicated Kaiser of Shireroth, Patrick "Prometheus" Monticaeae, recent immigrant, and Lord Erion, currently President of the Senate and Steward of the Elwynn Free State.

Candidates who have so far withdrawn from the princely race include another recent immigrant, Aaden Allot, and the current Regent, none other than the infamous Ardashir Osmani, Emir of Raspur.

Regent Osmani, in the face of his regency facing imminent termination upon the election of a new Prince, has already taken the opportunity to create a new job for himself, in the form of the Dean of Rhetoric at the newly recreated People's Academy of Elwynn. The Academy, comprising a remarkably swift yet extensive makeover of the former Temple of the Winds, was authorised yesterday by the erstwhile Regent in the form of an appropriately wordy Instrument of Government.

It is worth noting that, in the cultural spirit of the times, the Academy is officially called Alôqoqar Etâqon Adurellion. We don't know how that's actually pronounced, but we can guarantee that it's not as easy as it might look.

In other news...

Thanks to our recent timely intervention, the extremely moribund Benacian Conference on Standardization might actually be put out of its misery shortly, thus potentially saving it from an even more protracted death that it might otherwise have experienced. Even its creator, one Elijah Ayreon, has now reluctantly admitted that he might finally be giving up on it.

And finally...

Carl Jackson Miller, recently-elected Praetor of the Republic of Shireroth, and even more recently-rejected uncitizen of the Union of Elwynn, Amokolia and Hurmu, has nevertheless just been rather speedily accepted as a citizen of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia, even though it is still a protectorate of the Union of Elwynn, Amokolia and Hurmu. As the ancient proverb goes, may we live in interesting times.

Shireroth Not At All Embarrassed by Failed Benacian Conference

BENACIA - It seemed such a good idea at the time. All the important flunkeys, politicians and heads of state on Benacia were invited to an all-expenses-paid week away in a secret Benacian hideaway to discuss standardization and "matters of common purpose", set up as an apparent distraction from the ongoing controversies surrounding the marriage of Kaiser Ayreon II of Shireroth.

Only two people turned up. And one of those was chairing the conference. That was Kaiser Ayreon II of Shireroth. The other attendee being the slightly embarrassed King of Batavia, Willem V.

As for the "matters of common purpose"? The history, the geography, the languages and the peoples of the Benacian continent. Not being ones to shy away from embarrassing failures at times, here's our take on how the conference should have gone.

History: It happened to every nation and the ones that survived are still here.

Geography: Most nations have it, from tiny islands to a few mountains, with some rivers and oceans just to give all the water somewhere to go.

Languages: Everyone speaks English, so that's alright then. Not everyone can spell it, though, which isn't.

People: "Everyone's a citizen!" Just not of every nation. 

And in other news...

After rapidly losing interest in the conference, Kaiser Ayreon II decided to abuse his newly-appointed position of Honorary Senator in the Union State by denouncing another version of himself over his previous pretend "death" as another another version of himself, thus instantly contributing to the already highly controversial use of micronational papels.

As One Dragon Safely Returns, Will Another Arise?

BATAVIA - A tender for interplanetary transport has been issued by the Kingdom of Batavia as the real world's first commercial space mission was nearing its end (and has since successfully returned to Earth). While SpaceX's Dragon spacecraft safely splashed down in the Pacific Ocean yesterday, thus demonstrating the potential of relatively affordable private space travel (at least compared to state space travel), some of the micronational world's foremost experts on virtual interplanetary travel were brainstorming potential solutions to a tender that is happily unencumbered by any constraints as to the limits of technology and the availability of funding created out of thin air (let alone the vacuum of space).

The Natopians have led the sessions having had previous relevant experience, and suggestions so far include using modular Imperial Class carrier ships, possibly assisted by orbital shuttles and space elevators. It may be worth noting that Natopia itself is currently a protectorate of the Union of Elwynn, Amokolia and Hurmu, which in turn includes the territory of Tirlar, the last remaining remnant of the sites of the gateways to the other four legendary elemental worlds of Tylmarinn, Eochar, Relgann and Meiridos.

We would suggest embarking on unquantifiable expeditions to rediscover these long-unvisited planets, which would not only be interplanetary expeditions, but interdimensional expeditions, as all five of our worlds occupy different nodes of reality in the same space. No spaceships required, but there might still be dragons...

Elwynn Pays Tribute to Babkha's Anniversary

Today the Shah of Babkha was honoured as a new Count in Elwynn as tribute to Babkha's fifth anniversary celebrations. Elwynn is a Barony of Shireroth, and the Shah was created the Count of Lesser Zjandaria by the Baron of Elwynn, RicLyon, and was bestowed a new County of the same name, incorporating three detached communes within Elwynn.

In his decree, the Baron of Elwynn said: "In honouring the foundation of the Babkhan nation and recognizing that so many people of this great Land of ours feel affection for their Babkhan nationhood and ethnicity, the Baronial Authority of this State feels that it is with all right that a county shall be created for them in the areas in which they form a distinct majority."

Shah Ardashir Osmani, in an exclusive interview with the Apollo Inquisitor, said: "We have been pleasantly surprised and honoured by this unexpected and most generous award from the Baron of Elwynn. As Count we promise to rule wisely and firmly with traditional Babkhan humour and fair play, and also to demonstrate the respect and hospitality towards our neighbours for which we are so rightly famous."

Shireroth Gets Paranoid Over and Suspends Immigration

SHIREKEEP, SHIREROTH - Shireroth's much-vaunted recent recruitment campaign seems to have spectactularly backfired this evening, when the entire immigration process was suspended indefinitely as a result of the growing realisation that acquiring as many new citizens as it did was useless if they had nothing to do and kept disappearing as a result.

The unprecendented panic measure was introduced this evening by Minister of the Interior and
Director of Tourism, and Steward, Fax Celestis, who in a statement, said: "Due to the large influx of new immigrants who have yet to show their faces more than twice, and due to the recent additions of citizens for the express purpose of obtaining a means to an end, instead of the betterment of the nation, there is now a freeze on all immigration to Shireroth."

The Minister's statement also hints at Shireroth's first rejection of an immigrant application for many months, if not years. This evening he denied citizenship to Stormarkian Lady Vesteralen, on the grounds that he feared that she was only wanting to join in order to "join the nation simply [to] fight in the War of Vengeance and then become inactive." However, vigourous lobbying by the RicLyon, Baron of Elwynn and Lac Glacei, later convinced the Minister to make an exception to the new immigration regime, by permitting a decree by the Baron allowing her a "chance of proving herself", who explained that the decree "has no legal effect anywhere else. The decree simply states that in Elwynn she is to be regarded as a companion. That means that she can engage with us other Elwynnese on an equal basis in our community".

Both decisions were roundly condemned by many fellow Shirerithians, but it highly unlikely that the situation will be resolved until after the true Kaiser (who unfortunately is ill) is able to return.