Shireroth Not At All Embarrassed by Failed Benacian Conference

BENACIA - It seemed such a good idea at the time. All the important flunkeys, politicians and heads of state on Benacia were invited to an all-expenses-paid week away in a secret Benacian hideaway to discuss standardization and "matters of common purpose", set up as an apparent distraction from the ongoing controversies surrounding the marriage of Kaiser Ayreon II of Shireroth.

Only two people turned up. And one of those was chairing the conference. That was Kaiser Ayreon II of Shireroth. The other attendee being the slightly embarrassed King of Batavia, Willem V.

As for the "matters of common purpose"? The history, the geography, the languages and the peoples of the Benacian continent. Not being ones to shy away from embarrassing failures at times, here's our take on how the conference should have gone.

History: It happened to every nation and the ones that survived are still here.

Geography: Most nations have it, from tiny islands to a few mountains, with some rivers and oceans just to give all the water somewhere to go.

Languages: Everyone speaks English, so that's alright then. Not everyone can spell it, though, which isn't.

People: "Everyone's a citizen!" Just not of every nation. 

And in other news...

After rapidly losing interest in the conference, Kaiser Ayreon II decided to abuse his newly-appointed position of Honorary Senator in the Union State by denouncing another version of himself over his previous pretend "death" as another another version of himself, thus instantly contributing to the already highly controversial use of micronational papels.