Bergen Abandoned? Elephants In the Room!

BERGEN, HANOVER - The much-trumpeted Bergen Conference in Hanover appears to have been mysteriously abandoned by both its chairman and its royal host, leaving attending delegates alternatively bemused and frustrated.

Delegates were left wondering whether the conference was in recess, moved to another medium, or if people had simply lost interest "in a flawed concept". And indeed, the delegates from one attending nation, the Grand Commonwealth, have withdrawn in protest at the stalled discussions.

Of the three issues being discussed, the delegates have shown little interest in either establishing co-ordinated efforts to preserve micronational history, or in agreeing on any form of economic unity. The third issue, a merger-that-isn't-really-but-is-actually (the "Union of Anglia"), has made some progress, although a considerably less-bureaucratic and actually workable version of it has already been in existence for almost two years elsewhere.

Meanwhile, during the current hiatus, the Cyberian issue has been raised and described as "the elephant in the room" by President Jacobus of the FRC. However, the topic seems more likely to scare away the remaining delegates rather encourage them to stay on in the rather glaring absence of any leadership.

Only one question remains - if Hanover can't cope with holding a simple international conference, then what chance does it have of successfully creating a "loose" confederation such as the proposed Union of Anglia?

Micronations.Net - Fifth Anniversary!

Micronations.Net has today celebrated its fifth anniversary with a complete redesign and relaunch of its website and related services.

Started in 2002 as a long overdue replacement for the old Micronations Today Ezboard, the MNN forum has evolved from providing its original forum-based news service to a micronational hub, with a strong community of members and a wide variety of organisations offering their services. The Micronational News Network feed service has expanded over the past years, and has now been updated to provide a more streamlined service.

Along with moving to the new SMF forum system in recent months, Micronations.Net has also launched a number of new services to make it a complete hub of services for micronationalists, including a new sports forum, the Arena. Complementing the forums and news system are the rescued and restored MicroWiki (the Micronational Encyclopedia) and the Directory of Nations - recreating the most comprehensive list of micronations.

Congratulations to Micronations.Net and to everyone involved over the years.

Opinion: Beware Bergen's Revisionists of History

In which His Majesty Osman Shahanshah of the Kingdom of Babkha deplores recent attempts to rewrite the past and fondly reminisces about a golden age of micronationalism.

The President of that entity which refers to itself as the Federal Republic of Cyberia, but which we all know to be the latest manifestation of Jacobus' near decade-long smear-campaign against the legitimate Virtual Commonwealth of Cyberia, did voice, at the Bergen Conference, an aside concerning the complex diplomatic situation that occurred in Morovia during the winter of 2001-2002:

"Does anyone remember the machinations carried out at the expense of Morovia? The infant Republic would not have had to kow-tow to Babkha for protection against the giant that was Tymaria, or accept the restoration of a monarchy they did not want."

In doing so, he did repeat a version of history as the Digas and Scott Alexanders of this world would have it, that either the Babkhans (as ever it seems) were entirely to blame or else both sides were as bad as the other. This is blatant poppycock.

When news of the demise of King Vincent's Kingdom reached the halls of Babak the Great it was my honour to be sent to make a reconnaissance of the failed state. The great tragedy of the Morovian forums in the absence of any meaningful central authority was that it was so badly structured and insecure that anyone could pretend to be anyone (as indeed we saw with the Tyrant Diga's lamentable attempt to pass himself off as 'King Vincent IV'.

Now, in the milieu by which we were confronted, many forces were clearly at work, including various scavengers of legitimacy not entirely unfamiliar to President Jacobus himself. Then of course there were the Tymarians who were looking there because we were there and there were some scuffles provoked on their part by the militarist Atteran desire to spark a wider war between the Kingdom of Babkha and Tymaria. The Atterans were at that time effectively the military wing of Tymaria, accounting for little aside from bellicosity. It was all in all a most wretched scene.

However, from amongst all the ruined edifices of Morovia there was at least found one gleaming gem, and that gem was not the Republic of Morovia, but rather Bob Kee, a Malaysian political activist of character and distinction, and of rare organisational ability. It was he alone who held the head of the 'infant Republic' above water. It was he alone who gave it grace and dignity, and it was his common sense and competence that above all else recommended him to us as the one coherent voice amongst the cacophony there.

Indeed there again, such was his good judgement and plain common sense that he and Shah Babak had an immediate meeting of minds. From thereon, a fruitful policy of engagement was born, marred only by the ham-fisted efforts of Tymarian Military Intelligence to infiltrate the Republic. The Republic, however, was illegitimate and it was Bob Kee's insistence rather than our own that led to that country returning to the honourable institution of monarchy.

Regrettably the true King Vincent was not to be found and Diga's manifestation as 'King Vincent IV' was contemptable. At a loss then, Mr Kee arranged to have the President crown as King in the interim, however long that should be. As such, Morovia rose in the estimation of all nations, save for Tymaria and those other petulant spirits who had been cheated of their mischief by the end to the chaos.

In the end, of course, it was all to end happily. Diga's antics in Morovia had come to the attention of the true King Vincent, apparently the third of that name, and happy was the occasion of his restoration.

In the end both Kingdoms benefitted and no true Morovian ever lost out from the restoration. Indeed Bob Kee also went on to become Abbas Namvari of Babkha, and in that capacity was to usher in almost single-handedly one of the most glorious chapters in that nation's history - the faint echo of which we still hear today in the Abbas Namvari-Charles Beard FNORD award.

- His Majesty Osman Shahanshah

Spy Spooks Bergen Conference

BERGEN, HANOVER - The Apollo Inquisitor can exclusively reveal that Bergen Conference delegate Slavko Militz is not quite who appears to be.

We can reveal that he is actually maladroit statesman Neil Spall, who appears to have founded a dummy nation, Vlatava, for the sole purpose of providing a seemingly legitimate cover for infiltrating the Bergen conference as an potential agitator and possible spy.

Spall was recently described by an anonymous source as a "perpetual dissenter who passed through the gut of Lyrica and found a new cause in Rocentia as a Hickeyist running dog, before becoming a mild irritant and ne'er do well in Treithar".

The Norton NewsBlink: Awards, Abdications and Sealand

It's been an Emperor Norton Day to remember this year, with all sorts of interesting things happening...

Some Awards
As is the custom on this day, the FNORD Awards were presented in the Norton Lounge, this year by Sander Dieleman of Lemuria. As usual lots of people won various medals, while even more didn't, but that's just how such things go.

This year is the 127th anniversary of Emperor Norton's untimely death, and the fourth anniversary of the FNORDs themselves, which were created by the omnipotent Scott Alexander of many, many places as an alternative to the original Norton Awards, which seem unfortunately to have been carelessly forgotten about this year.

And then for those of you like less serious awards, you might like to check out the first ever Paper Plate Awards...

... and an Abidication
Shireroth's Kaiseress Carol abdicated today in favour of her daughter, Hypatia. Clearly disappointed at the lack of general support by most of the populace for keeping the nation going, she ended her remarkable reign with a mercifully brief yet moving speech which promised a great renaissance in the hands of the new Kaiseress.

Other than the Royal Family and President Jacobus of the FRC, we think that two ordinary Shirerithians attended the ceremony, which is probably some kind of record.

... and then there's Sealand...
which is offered now for sale, or for rent, depending on who you want to believe, as long as you have many millions of something to pay for it. NewsNow has lots of reports in many tongues, so read them while you can, before everyone gets bored and finds something else to waffle about.

And finally...
Someone from NationStates has joined the Grand Commonwealth's Babkha. In return, the Shah , who has long bound himself to join NationStates in return, will finally discover a place that's worse than the infamous salt mines...

NewsBlinks: blink and you'll miss 'em ^MTM

Micronational Directory Relaunched at MNN

The team at Micronations.net, a driving force behind intermicronational cooperation and host to such respected organisations as the Micronational News Network, the Geographical Standards Organisation and the Micronational Recreational Warfare Society, also noted as the host of the famous intermicronational award ceremony, the FNORDS, announced the launch of a new micronational directory service on December 4th 2006.

The original micronational directory was hosted by micronations.org, and like its predecessor the new version retains much of the elegant simplicity that made the original such a success.

By utilising the directory, micronational leaders will be able to provide viewers of the site with a link to their micronations, as well as an icon-based summaries of their political cultures, aspirations, languages and diplomatic stances with regards to other members of the community.

The founder of Micronations.net, and leading the figure in the Grand Commonwealth and the United Baronies of Aerlig and Treesia, Sir Iain de Vembria, was quoted as saying "We are pleased to be able to be the first to relaunch this type of micronational directory, a few years after the unfortunate demise of the original that was hosted by Micronations.org. The basic features have been recreated, while any additional features will depend on demand or on voluntary contributions to the project."

Certainly his view echoes the widely held optimism that the introduction of the new Micronational Directory, together with the successful forum upgrade also completed in December 2006, means that Micronations.net will continue to serve as the primary hub for news and networking activity for the micronational community over the next five years just as it has ever since it's foundation in 2002.

NewsBlink #3: Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil...

NewsBlink #3

Hear No Evil
When you can't admit you're wrong, just put your hands over your ears and sing very loudly. And if you're a Stormarker to boot, turn it into a Viking saga and a Cult of the Emperor just for good measure. Because, so far, the bill for Stormark to sever ties with Cranda is not yet a dead cert, with those pesky voters having the sheer audacity to split the vote evenly both ways at the time of press.

See No Evil
So how's the new Attera geting on? We think the Grand Commonwealth sees it as a tame leopard rather than a roaring Lion of Judah, especially as the Atterans seem very in to things like constitutions and coronations for the time being.

Speak No Evil
All's fine at the GSO. Yes, it really is. No, really. Even though there have been no updates for almost two months, and no indication of any either. But it's ok really, it's only a service, so there's absolutely no need for any publicity or advertising.

And Finally...
Babkha celebrated its sixth anniversary yesterday, so go and congratulate them.

NewsBlinks: blink and you'll miss 'em ^MTM

Newsblink #2: Cranda and Stormark, the GSO, and... Attera?!

NewsBlink #2

Cranda versus Stormark
In a typical show of micronational legal prowess, the Viking Empire of Stormark and the Principality of Upper Cranda are locked in an epic struggle over the ownership of the Vaan Aujoen islands. For those of you not familiar with your history, these are the same islands that some years ago Babkha aggressively claimed from Cranda. Stormark, under the mistaken assumption that Cranda being removed from the MCS map under the Atkins plan made it defunct, had annexed the islands, and this had only now come to the attention of the Prince, Johanns fonn Klosso, famed Atteran ex-co-regent and ex-Prime Minister extraordinaire. So far, nothing has been resolved, but it appears that the Most Sovereign and Noble Viking Emperor will not be apologizing for the annexation, which means the Crandish Diet will likely expel him.

GSO versus Giess
In other news, the GSO has spent another straight week without updating the map or informing its members what, if anything, it might be doing. Sources within the GSO organization say that an attempt to shake the leadership from complacency may be underway, however, we have yet to get official word or any outward signs of it.

Attera versus the World
And finally, on our rather short list (I don't get out much, so sue me), rumors have been circulating about the resurrection of the Solomonic Empire of Attera, long-time hated enemy and rival of the Kingdom of Babkha. The Solomonic Empire was perhaps the only African themed nation around, and was made even more unique by also being Jewish. Its return is no doubt feared by all those in the Grand Commonwealth.

And Finally...
That's it for the news today.

NewsBlinks: blink and you'll miss 'em ^MTM

NewsBlink #1: Stormark Stalks, Cyberias Cogitate, Shireroth Snoozes

NewsBlink #1

Stormark Stalks State
Stormark is living up to its Viking heritage and trying to claim the territory of Oscland, even though the latter merely suffered an abdication and change of government. The Duchess of Romsdal has described the situation as a "Complex and Vexing Problem", but we all know there can only be one "satisfactory solution".

A Couple of Cyberias Cogitate
The VCC is discussing spam e-mail and looking for an electoral commissioner. Meanwhile the FRC is playing a new word game, which is more fun. Probably.

Shireroth Snoozes Serenely
Shireroth's forum is on the blink - the challenging colour scheme is too much even for PHPBB it seems, so it's moved to a temporary location with a readable colour scheme, so now's a good opportunity to catch up on all the stuff you couldn't read before, and discover that they've run out of things to do. Again.

And Finally...
Let sleeping micronations lie. Especially ones like Attera.

NewsBlinks: blink and you'll miss 'em ^MTM

Mapocalypse Now!

They said it would never happen. They said it couldn't be done. But today saw the launch of a new mapping service, and a consequential en-masse resignation of nine nations (so far) from an long-established micronational mapmaker.

The Geographical Standards Organisation is the new map on the block, and nine nations have already resigned from the venerable Micronational Cartography Society to join it, citing various reasons to do so, including dissatisfaction with the MCS, and the GSO having a better map.

The catalyst for the split occurred in April, after the MCS started to put its map on an "Atkins diet", belatedly held a vote about it, and controversially started backtracking on the previously non-negotiable reductions. The MCS had also previously ignored the 2005 mapping conference COMSAV, which had examined ways of improving the MCS Micras system. While the results of the Atkins Vote looked good for the MCS, some of the voters obviously hadn't been that truthful, as several disaffected nations met soon afterwards in secret to find a permanent solution to their problems, which they did not believe could be found within the MCS. The result, four months later, is the GSO, with most of the creative work having being by John Darcy of Anthelia and Lachlan Powers of the Grand Commonwealth.

The aim of the GSO is to operate a more realistic simulation of planetary mapping than its rival. To begin with, a physical map of a new planet named 'Giess' has been developed, with a detailed geographical backstory for its appearance. Two continents have been left 'unexplored' to assist with the simulated aspects of mapping and exploration.

The nations on Giess will also have more control over their depicted territories with regards to the "development of territories, negotiation of borders, exploitation of resources" and their eventual "decline and disappearance", within an overall framework of rules and guidelines managed by the GSO. They can also produce their own national maps from the GSO maps, at a level for detail that the GSO would not publish itself.

Nations on Giess will also be equal partners in the ownership of the GSO, which has its own elected board of directors and separate committees for managing admissions and designing maps.

The founding members of the GSO are Alexandria, Anthelia, Gotzborg, The Grand Commonwealth, Lemuria, New Brittania, Oscland, Paulovia, Stormark and Treithar, and the current board of directors comprises Lachlan Powers of the Grand Commonwealth, John Darcy of Anthelia, and Ben Gray of Treithar, who is also the President, and was unfortunately unavailable for comment.

Opinion: Matbaa versus Rastakhiz

While we have taken a break during the summer silly season, things have sufficiently cooled down this week to enable us to give brief consideration to a minor spat that has surfaced between two erstwhile micronational newsblogs: Dzez Matbaa and Radio Rastakhiz. We probably wouldn't have bothered if Dzez Matbaa allowed direct feedback, like ourselves, to published articles, but they seemingly don't, so we have bothered.

Anyway, it would seem that yesterday Radio Rastakhiz essentially accused the Matbaic government of hypocrisy by virtue of apparently permitting two of its key government figures to post messages from the same IP address, and thereby demonstrating that they were obviously one and the same person.

The only thing is, a brief bit of research of the Matbaic website, and of a thread about Matbaa in Micronational Eye, would have provided enough circumstancial evidence to significantly reduce that probability. (We're feeling generous so we'll offer a small prize to anyone who can identify the evidence and let us know if they can conclude what we have concluded from it).

Dzez Matbaa, in its haste to issue a suitable response, also skipped a bit of research. A quick search of the Babkhan forums and of Microwiki infers that Ardashir Khan is the Emir of Raspur all the time, but when he's Shah he's primarily Osman Shahanshah.

While we know we shouldn't jump to conclusions like everyone else, it's possible that a news blog like Radio Rastakhiz was called 'Radio' because its founders thought it was a good idea at the time.

Personally, though, we blame the Baracoãns.

Commonwealth Games off to a Flying Start!

The first Commonwealth Games have gotten off to a flying start with a variety of events in three different nations. The Games are being held to celebrate the first anniversary of the Grand Commonwealth.

The first event to be completed is the camel racing, held on the ancient camel racing grounds in Babkha. Three participants competed in four races, held in Vey, Raspur, Kamalshahr and Vayelon, with the final points awarded as follows: Sir Iain de Vembria - 7.5, Extreme007 - 3, Dugobert Wurmser - 1.5. Action replays of each race may be seen here.

Another event being held is a football (soccer) tournament, which is taking place in the MZM Superdome, Aurelict. The Trishuli Extremes led the Halberd Harriers, Vayelon Firewolves, and Adelwin Power through to the finals, for which the Georgetown Grenadiers failed to qualify, having put in a consistently miserable performance. The finals will be played on Thursday (June 15th) and will see the Halberd Harriers play Adelwin Power, while the Vayelon Firewolves meet the Trishuli Extremes. The Grand Final will then follow to determine the ultimate champion and runners-up.

Other events yet to be concluded include chess and dominoes championships.