And Now We Are Two

In which the Grand Commonwealth celebrates its second birthday, and is revealed to be a noble hippopotamus.

Yesterday (Saturday 28th) saw the erstwhile Grand Commonwealth celebrated the first two years of its fabled existence, thus confounding the beliefs of a well-known minority who have long professed that it was dead, and consequently are now rather disappointed and seeking counselling for the withdrawal of their much-cherished belief-system.

The anniversary event consisted of a well-attended but low-key ceremony, during which His Majesty Tahmaseb Abakhtari, the Shahan-Ri, delivered the following rallying speech:

"One could begin to babble endlessly how great and mighty we all are, but we all know that. Instead I plan to talk about something completely different: hippos.

"The noble hippopotamus is a remarkable beast. It is mostly docile and likes to stay in the water in groups. It is a vegetarian but its teeth are very suitable for combat. When two hippopotami fight death is an option. Hippos are buoyant when young but not anymore when they grow up which means adults can't swim. They can stay submerged about five minutes while walking on the bottom of the river/lake.

"We are much like the hippos. We have grown up and are not buoyant anymore. To keep breathing we must be active and not just dose off while floating. We might be nice but can be dangerous if cornered. Hippos are docile but then again they are an endangered species. Perhaps we shouldn't be like the hippos?

"Therefore I invite everyone to think what kind of an animal we should be. This is a task that might seem ridiculous and childish at first but I ask you to think about it. This is about change which is essential in every community. Stagnation leads to death. Therefore it is your duty to commit yourselves to progress.

"This has been a great two-year fable so far. Let's make it even better!"