Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Elwynn Pays Tribute to Babkha's Anniversary

Today the Shah of Babkha was honoured as a new Count in Elwynn as tribute to Babkha's fifth anniversary celebrations. Elwynn is a Barony of Shireroth, and the Shah was created the Count of Lesser Zjandaria by the Baron of Elwynn, RicLyon, and was bestowed a new County of the same name, incorporating three detached communes within Elwynn.

In his decree, the Baron of Elwynn said: "In honouring the foundation of the Babkhan nation and recognizing that so many people of this great Land of ours feel affection for their Babkhan nationhood and ethnicity, the Baronial Authority of this State feels that it is with all right that a county shall be created for them in the areas in which they form a distinct majority."

Shah Ardashir Osmani, in an exclusive interview with the Apollo Inquisitor, said: "We have been pleasantly surprised and honoured by this unexpected and most generous award from the Baron of Elwynn. As Count we promise to rule wisely and firmly with traditional Babkhan humour and fair play, and also to demonstrate the respect and hospitality towards our neighbours for which we are so rightly famous."

Babkha Celebrates Fifth Anniversary With Multitudinous Honours

The Kingdom of Babkha celebrated its fifth anniversary today by awarding Honours to many prominent micronationalists, past and present. The Honours were announced in an Imperial Farman issued by His Majesty the Shah, Ardashir Osmani, to celebrate Foundation Day.

His Majesty said: "May all who have received these awards be rightly celebrated for their achievements and their contributions to the continued prosperity of the Kingdom and the Micronational community in general, as is their right. Let us also remember that Babkha has had a long and varied history and that this fifth anniversary of the declaration of sovereignty by the revered and immortal Babak Shahanshah back in October of 2000 is far from being the end of the Babkhan story. Gentlemen I pray I shall see you all for the sixth anniversary of our glorious kingdom, a leading light of the Grand Commonwealth of nations, the vibrant cultural legacy of our sector."

The Honours awarded consist of five different ranks, relating to specific fields of achievement and loyalty. The foremost Honour is that of the Nishan i-Rastakhiz, awarded to foreign Heads-of-State, who best reflect the spirit and positive values of the Babkhan Rastakhiz on the international stage, and who are considered warm allies of the Kingdom.

The Nishan i-Rastakhiz was awarded to King Charles Augustus II of the Kingdom of Gotzborg, Emperor Harald Thorstein of the Sovereign Empire of Stormark, Kaiser Yarad I of the Imperial Republic of Shireroth, Emperor Edgard Portela of the Empire of the Alexandrians, King Chas Jar'go of Alteria, Ramu Taiçardainre I of Lemuria, Tribune Extreme of the Republic of Karnali, Protector Lachlan Powers of the Republic of Aerlig, and Chancellor Sir Iain de Vembria of the Sovereign Order of Treesia.

The next Honour is that of the Nishan-i-Taj, awarded for services to the Kingdom. The recipients were Shahan-Ri and Satrap Tahmaseb Abakhtari, Sultan Mohammed al-Baqir, the Amir Shervanis, Mirza Satrap Darius Rugahi, Satrap Yaghoub Ahmad Vembriani, Satrap Edward Benazir Shahzamini, Satrap Rashid Arsalani, Satrap William Bagram, Satrap Rakesh Ackbar, Satrap Yuri Zhivago, and the Honourable Hesam Jahandar.

The Honour of Nishan-i-Khurshid is a miltary order for service in the face of the enemy, and was given to the Amir Shervanis, Admiral Dugobert Wurmster, and Tribune & Commonwealth Defence Chancellor Extreme007.

Nobility is rewarded with the Nishan-i-Shir, for notable gallantry in the face of the enemy. King Charles Augustus II of the Kingdom of Gotzborg and Tribune & Commonwealth Defence Chancellor Extreme007 were the recipients.

Finally, the order of the Nishan-i-Liaqat, for those who deserve to be rewarded for their contributions to Babkhan and Micronational culture, arts and literature, was conferred upon Kaiser Yarad I of the Imperial Republic of Shireroth, Mirza Satrap Darius Rugahi, Satrap Yaghoub Ahmad Vembriani, Protector Lachlan Powers of the Republic of Aerlig, Satrap Rakesh Ackbar, the Honourable Hesam Jahandar, and the Honourable Arch-Infidel Scott Alexander.

Shireroth Gets Paranoid Over and Suspends Immigration

SHIREKEEP, SHIREROTH - Shireroth's much-vaunted recent recruitment campaign seems to have spectactularly backfired this evening, when the entire immigration process was suspended indefinitely as a result of the growing realisation that acquiring as many new citizens as it did was useless if they had nothing to do and kept disappearing as a result.

The unprecendented panic measure was introduced this evening by Minister of the Interior and
Director of Tourism, and Steward,
Fax Celestis, who in a statement, said: "Due to the large influx of new immigrants who have yet to show their faces more than twice, and due to the recent additions of citizens for the express purpose of obtaining a means to an end, instead of the betterment of the nation, there is now a freeze on all immigration to Shireroth."

The Minister's statement also hints at Shireroth's first rejection of an immigrant application for many months, if not years. This evening he denied citizenship to Stormarkian Lady Vesteralen, on the grounds that he feared that she was only wanting to join in order to "join the nation simply [to] fight in the War of Vengeance and then become inactive." However, vigourous lobbying by the RicLyon, Baron of Elwynn and Lac Glacei, later convinced the Minister to make an exception to the new immigration regime, by permitting a decree by the Baron allowing her a "chance of proving herself", who explained that the decree "has no legal effect anywhere else. The decree simply states that in Elwynn she is to be regarded as a companion. That means that she can engage with us other Elwynnese on an equal basis in our community".

Both decisions were roundly condemned by many fellow Shirerithians, but it highly unlikely that the situation will be resolved until after the true Kaiser (who unfortunately is ill) is able to return.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Istvanistan takes over the Grand Commonwealth and Shireroth?

VLADAGRAD, CHAOCRACY OF ISTVANISTAN - After an unprecendented display of diplomatic showmanship, no-one now is certain whether Istavnistan controls the Grand Commonwealth, or the Grand Commonwealth controls Istvanistan.

Whatever the conclusion might, it is certain that there is no doubt that yesterday, the Cause of Istvanistan, Stjepan Veliki, issued a statement in which he granted "the Grand Commonwealth and the Imperial Republic of Shireroth the status of Autonomous Oblasts, under the ultimate sovereignty of the Chaocracy. This status entails that they shall have the the right to hate and kill each other, as well as to print their own postage. "

In response, the Protector of the Grand Commonwealth, Ardashir Osmani, decreed that: "As a Oblast of the supreme Chaocracy of Istvanistan the Grand Commonwealth in obedience to the precepts of the primordial hereby declares Istvanistan overthrown and to be an Oblast of the Oblast and accordingly the Grand Oblastoblast Commonwealth hereby annexes the Oblasts of Istvanistan and Shireroth to be held for all eternity, backdated to the beginning of time until this decree is countermanded by one even more ridiculous. May all who disobey be chewed for a millenia by a sandworm with chronic indigestion."

No response from Shireroth has yet been received, as they are believed (at time of press) to still be asleep and blissfully unaware of their unexpected fate.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Protector Enacts Section Three

Statesman House- Adelwin, Aerlig- For the first time in the history of the Republic of Aerlig, the Protector of the Republic, Lachlan Powers, has enacted Section Three of the Constitution, enabling him to take up the responsibilities of the Parliament.

The section, which has existed in the constitution since it was written in 2001, enables the Protector to take over the responsibilities of any national office that fails in its duties to the nation. Since the branch of government that the Protector says has failed is the Parliament, the Protector may take on the full legislative and executive functions of the Government, powers which were recently strengthened in the constitutional referendum.

The Protector declared today at 12:30 on the steps of Statesman House that the Parliament had fallen into inactivity, and had therefore failed the people, and as a result he would be taking over the Government of the nation.

The believed cause of this action is the fact that two pieces of legislation have been sitting in the Parliamentary chamber for debate for over a week now. The Protector was quick to rush through the National Gazette Act of 2005 and the Re-enactment Act of 2005 as soon as he assumed power.

How long the Protector will retain office for is yet to be seen, but his actions are expected to stir up some debate within the Aerlig community.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Beginnings of the Grand Commonwealth (Part I)

It has been suggested by a number of micronationalists that the Grand Commonwealth was designed from the outset to be a counterweight to Shirerothian supremacy in the microworld. Others have also resorted to referring to the Commonwealth as Greater Babkha, unaware of the true history that lies behind the formation of the grand nation. The first thoughts of a Commonwealth started a little under a year ago, when Lachlan Powers (Aerlig) and Sir Iain de Vembria met during an online conversation to discuss the direction of their two nations.

Powers and de Vembria had often discussed the plights of their two nations, which had suffered greatly from inactivity over the preceding months. It was time that some action should be taken. All of micronationalism was in a lul, and something was needed to create some activity and draw new blood into the hobby, but what? October 9th, 2004 was the birth of discussions for a new nation. While it took nearly six months from this date for the dream to become a reality, the wheels were put in motion that night for an idea that would grow much beyond the original dreams.

The removal of Apollo Foundation lands from the Micronational Cartographic Society Map was an action that was loudly criticized by micronationalists around Micras, from Shireroth to Treesia. One must often wonder how Ryan Caruso can continue his job at the top after all the hard decisions and criticism he has had to make. The decision had been made, however, and Treesia’s long lives existence on the map was being threatened. So on the 9th October, the Round Table was presented with two options- threaten the MCS or leave the Foundation and resume sovereignty over the traditional lands. Treesia had once covered lands ranging as far as Shireroth of the day, and the prospect of the nation being wiped off the map altogether was one that de Vembria couldn’t bare contemplate.

Powers, a member of the Round Table, came up with the initial laughable suggestion of Treesia becoming and Aerlish state. The suggestion though, however ridiculous it may have seemed at the time, was to give rise to what is arguably the largest, most powerful nation Micras has ever seen.

Not long after the suggestion of the Treesian state, de Vembria first floated the idea of a loose union between Treesia, Aerlig and Lemuria- A “New Apolloian [sic] Empire�. United for economics, foreign affairs and security in the first place. The laughable idea of admitting Antica was floated (which we shall see later was not so laughable), along with flooding Micras in the violent lime green colour which Aerlig possessed. Apollo fever took over, and notions were raised of contacting Harvey about the Flying Islands, Trevon about Istavanistan and considering how many different acronyms could be formed including the word Apollo.

By the 10th, Powers had spoken with Delphi Augustus of Antica, who was willing to join in discussions about the formation of a new Empire. For the next day, things stood idle, probably as life interceded, as it does. Something was clearly brewing though. With Aerlig, Treesia, Lemuria and Antica having expressed interest, there was a possibility of something big occurring. Note though that Babkha was not mentioned, nor was it even considered. As we will see, it was many months before Babkha was even associated with the project. Other nations will come and go before then, and yet the whole project will remain under wraps from Micras’s supposed top security agencies.

It was on the 9th of October that, what was so eloquently referred to at the time as the "Imperial Whatever of Thingummy" came into life as an idea.

To be continued...

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Shireroth: Future Less Ugly

Shirekeep, Imperial Republic of Shireroth:

Kaiser Los III's brave and controversial decision to overturn a long standing Shirerithian tradition of horrendous forum designs has met with partial success with a new and undeniably beautiful banner replacing the old and rather unsightly Shirerithian 'jack' - the flag of a globe spanning empire that looked as though it was drawn by an eight year old on ritalin when in fact it was designed by Erik, the founder of Shireroth, sometime in the dim and distant past though presumably not when he was eight and on ritalin (disclaimer).

The Shirerithians have also enaged robustly with their infamous forum background replacing the infamous tiled Malabor effect with a stretched forest village scene that while not exactly pretty is at least not quite as queasy and unsettling as its predecessor.

However Kaiser Los, for his efforts to prevent foreigners and new citizens (of whom there are now a considerable number thanks to a recent advertising campaign) being physically sick whilst they browse, has come under a certain amount of criticism from Shirerithian traditionalists, of who there is, predictably, a substantial minority that considers an alteration to the appearance of the forum to be an unpardonable slight against all that is right and holy in Shireroth. However it is hard to tell whether the Yardistanis have oppossed the redesign just to be bloody-minded and eccentric.

So controversial has the thorny issue of removing Malabor been that Kaiser Los, who is blessed with a degree of absolute authority that Anticans can only dream of, has had to resort to finding consensus (the Kaiser incidentally says that he always favours reaching a consensus, but then he would say that wouldn't he) via opinion polls in the Temple of Lumina. The result of the poll appears to have given a landslide in favour of the redesign but rumours persist that the result was slightly skewed on account of a certain unnamed member of the Almagro family voting a dozen times.

It seems likely that the new forum design will survive the reign of Kaiser Los III though whether it will do so without bloodshed is entirely another matter.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Shireroth Convulses the World

These are strange days, and things have just gotten a whole lot stranger. Shireroth has now done something that it has always vowed never to do (i.e. consider changing its forum design), while simultaneously a semi-senior micronationalist was last seen turning into a goose and subsequently plotting a campaign against some of his allies. Coincidence, or consequence?

So just what is going on? The Kaiser of Shireroth has apparently cracked under the overwhelming pressure of foreign opinion and published not one, but two polls regarding the future look of the Imperial Republic's message boards.

Shirerithians have resisted for many years any changes their look, inspite of some brave but (in hindsight) foolhardy attempts to do so (resulting in people being exiled, for example), relying instead on potential visitors and citizens to be of strong enough mind to overcome such visually-challenging issues as under-contrasted (blue on blue) and over-contrasted (red on blue) text (and sometimes both together), uncoordinated background patterns, over-enlarged (and thus horribly pixelated) background images, decorative images in a cornucopia of differing styles and quality, and various banners that take up almost as much screen space as the boards themselves. The national symbols have been subtly improved in recent months, although a garish anti-aliased flag has only been replaced by one just as garish (although at least aliased now), but with most un-flag-like 3-dimensional bevelled edges.

Such fundamental changes are never without unforeseen consequences, and the global convulsions resulting from this improbable change in the status quo have seemingly been so great that they have managed to turn the mind of a once-respected micronationalist, so that he is convinced that he is a goose on a one-bird crusade to rule the world, making everyone a vegetarian on the way and creating a glut of fermented apples in the process, while allegedly accompanied by an army of pecking moorhens.

In the meantime, new forum designs are being tested in a new Temple of Lumina, surreptitiously hidden away in an isolated corner of Shireroth. The current proposal is a rather smarter design full of reds and blues, but the opinion polls remain divided on the subject. Malarbor, as yet, doesn't seem too bothered about it though, preferring to bask in the glory of making public appearances instead.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

New Protector for the Commonwealth

Taoiseach's Winter Office- Adelwin, Aerlig (GC)- The Taoiseach today announced the first Protector of the Commonwealth, and extended his cabinet by one with the appointment of Thomas Cutterham to two positions this morning.

In a statement in the Apadana, Taoiseach Powers announced that Mr Cutterham would take up the role of Deputy Foreign Affairs Advisor, to help clear some of the backlog of Foreign Relations currently plaguing the nation. In the same statement, Powers also announced that Cutterham would take up the position of Protector of the Commonwealth.

The Protector of the Commonwealth is empowered under the Protector of the Commonwealth Act to act as the Taoiseach while the Taoiseach is on a Leave of Absence. Taoiseach Powers shall be taking a leave of absence next week.

This will be only the second head of government in the country, with Powers serving as the Taoiseach since the nations founding in March this year.

Karnali joins the GC

Protector's Office, CCT (GC)- The Republic of Karnali has finally completed the process of becoming a member state of the Grand Commonwealth, with Tribune extreme007 today accepting the Charter of the Grand Commonwealth on behalf of the Republic.

The Commonwealth's Majlis-i-Shahan-Ri voted three weeks ago to admit the Republic to the Commonwealth, but the representatives from Karnali have only just accepted the offer to the nation. One of the conditions of the union, the renaming of the Majlis-i-Shahan-Ri to the Majlis-I-Dharma, has also taken place effective today.

Taoiseach Lachlan Powers and Shahan-Ri Tahmaseb Shah Abakhtari welcomed Karnali to the Commonwealth early this morning, and since the union the Commonwealth has seen a surge in activity unseen in any other nation.

Karnali is the sixth member state to join the Grand Commonwealth.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Aryez threatens Commonwealth, exposed as fraud

MZM CAPITAL OFFICE, CCT (GC) - The Aralanic Empire of Aryez has been exposed today trying to lure Antica into an attack on the Grand Commonwealth with false and misleading information.

Aryez approached the Antican Foreign Office yesterday declaring that "war between Aryez and the GC seems to be imminent" and claiming that unidentified members of the Grand Commonwealth had made derogatory remarks about the nation. The approach followed similar comments at Aryez's own forums. The slanderous rampage then continued into the Grand Commonwealth's own foreign affairs headquarters, with Aryez calling for death to the Commonwealth and calling for the trial of the Commonwealth's Taoiseach, for crimes against humanity, although these claims were backed up with neither examples nor evidence.

A quick conference between leaders of the Commonwealth and Antica soon laid down fears of any conflict, and it was almost instantly apparent that the claims had all been falsified. Aryez then tried to jump on the back foot by claiming that their account had been hacked after it became clear that Antica would not get involved, even though there was an abundance of evidence to the contrary. Nothing has been heard of since from the Aryezian government.

For all the latest news, keep reading the Apollo Inquisitor.

Aerlig Elects New Parliament

ADELWIN, AERLIG - The Aerlig Electoral Commission returned results today for the twelfth session of Parliament of the Republic of Aerlig.

The election saw a record-matching seven candidates run for the five positions available in the Parliament, only the third time that an election has been held for the Parliament. While the campaign this year lacked the ferociousness of the last election campaign, many of the candidates petitioned hard for their positions on the Parliament.

Protector Lachlan Powers announced the results early this morning to a large crowd gathered on the lawns of the Protector's Office. The five returned members were Peter Krembs (Labor), Lachlan Powers (XP), Dugobert Wurmser (XP), Joe Sendler (ANP) and Carson Smith (Ind.). Iain Vembria and Jayce Adryn, both members of the Expansionist Party, missed out in a very tight vote.

So far, only one member has put his hand up for the role of Prime Minister, that being Mr Krembs. Krembs returned to Aerlig recently after a prolonged absence. With no party having a majority in the Parliament, and Powers indicating support of a Krembs ministry, there is a good chance he may get the top job.

For all the latest news, keep reading the Apollo Inquisitor.